


tenderly

by dearskjin



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Homesick, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, jaemin is soft for renjun, renjun is rlly thankful to nana, renjun is sad because i'm sad ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 13:46:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16176311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearskjin/pseuds/dearskjin
Summary: Do you wonder why I always seem to wait for you,Did you notice that I spent my nights alone,Aren't you burning for a love that never turns its head?





	tenderly

renjun always felt cold, the feeling was only heightened when he stepped gingerly out of bed, feet touching the floor. 

he shivered involuntarily but the feeling of his bare feet against the wood was a comforting one. 

the feeling of ice below his toes. that was something he knew all too well. 

he walked down the dark hallway with ease, an all too familiar route he knew like the back of his hand. as he reached his destination he hesitated. it had been months since he had been this desperate, but the routine of it was burned into his head. 

renjun drew his knuckles up to the door and tapped gently, he could decipher a soft murmur from inside the room so he gripped the door handle, twisted it, and pushed forward the tiniest amount. 

moonlight basked the room in a pale light and it was the only thing that allowed renjun to see jaemin sat up, rubbing at his eyes. 

"injunnie?" he breathed out.

renjun looked down at his feet, and let out a sigh. "can i stay here tonight?" he whispered. 

renjun knew what his answer would be. na jaemin was a sweet soul, way too sweet, he thought, for someone as sour as him.

jaemin gave him a concerned glance but shuffled over to make space for the boy in front of him who looked so so small. 

eyes ringed in red and jaw jutted foward, renjun felt heavy as he moved his way towards the bed. he fell just short of falling into it as he laid down, the mattress creaking from the new weight. he closed his eyes and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. the first time this had happened a few months ago it had been much more awkward, jaemin, same as ever, had said yes just the same but they weren't as aquatinted with each other's spaces as they were now. jaemin no longer hesitated to be close to him, instead reaching out and pulling him close. 

renjun let him, he would always let him. 

back pressed against jaemin he allowed his legs to curl up towards his body and jaemin followed the motion while slowly entangling their legs. the smallest weight lifted off renjun's chest as he gave himself a moment to feel jaemin all around him, the pillow he laid on, the blanket he was carefully tucked under, and jaemin himself. he breathed it all in and counted to seven over and over again until he felt composed enough to speak.

"m'sorry to wake you" it came out smooth enough but it still felt stilted in his own ears. jaemin's reply came out slurred but he spoke softly, "i don't mind," he breathed in before starting again, sleep still in his voice, "i never mind when it's you" 

a small smile tugged at renjun's lips as they settled into a comfortable silence. it was a few minutes before renjun spoke again. he would have thought jaemin had fallen back asleep but he felt him still at the scratchy sound of his voice when he begins again, "i just really miss home jaem, i miss my mom and her cooking and my dad with his bad jokes and my own room," his words started to become shaky but he continued on, eyes squeezed shut and heart on his sleeve, "god it's so stupid isn't it , missing a room. i miss my posters on my wall and my desk with drawers full of old papers and sketchbooks and i really miss my bed. more than anything. i just can't sleep in this dorm, i've tried piling blankets or holding plushies. i drink peppermint tea before bed but it just feels so," he pauses again, "so cold."

it's silent for a moment before he continues, "so empty" he feels exposed when he says it, it's nothing jaemin doesn't know but his small rant is enough to leave him anxious. 

jaemin just cards his fingers through renjun's locks and speaks so softly that he almost doesn't catch the whispered, "so lonely" slip out of his mouth. renjun curls up on himself even more and nods slightly into the pillow. jaemin's blunt nails continue running through renjun's tangled hair and renjun almost feels like a cat. he can imagine himself on a better day sprawled out on jaemin's bed feeling lethargic, sun beams bright and filtering through the window, jaemin leaning over him smiling fondly and calling him kitty. instead he's here in the dark, on the verge of tears all because of a worn old bed. 

jaemin spoke up again, his words felt like honey on a sore throat. soothing and sweet. "it's not silly you know, to miss home. i know it's been hard on you but you've been so strong. i don't think it's bad for you to take a break from being your own knight in shining armor mister i need to take care of everything myself"

renjun had a trace of laughter in his voice as he replied, "if i don't protect myself then who will?"

"me obviously," jaemin shot back immediately, "my first act as your knight is to fire you as knight one, because i'm sorry to say but you're kinda doing a shit job at it" 

he smiled as he heard a laugh bubble out of renjun's mouth, happy to have given him even a second of distraction from his homesickness.

"besides," he continued, "you're too pretty to be a knight, you're much more suited to be a prince."

renjun tilted his face even more into the pillow trying to fight the light blush that had graced his cheekbones.

"you're so cheesy nana." he bit back a smile and flipped on his side to face the boy next to him.

renjun thought he looked beautiful like this, smile too big and looking far too awake for the time of night. he could swear his eyes shone in the dark, shimmering like he held the universe in them. he felt overwhelmingly safe as jaemin gently laid an arm around his waist and scooted a few inches until there noses almost touched. 

"thank you," renjun whispered, he couldn't remember the last time he said that and meant it so deeply, like the feeling of gratitude was settled deep into his bones all because of jaemin. jaemin and his sweet words and soft touches filled with all the heat renjun didn't have. 

jaemin's eyes fluttered shut and he grinned, "i really didn't do anything." his words were clear and sincere, as if he didn't know how he had made renjun feel lighter just by his presence, just by his small words of understanding and his shitty jokes. by they way he let him into his room, his bed, just because it was injun, and when you stripped everything back, jaemin might not have been renjun's home, but he was pretty damn close. 

he just smiled in response, a feeling of contentment passed over him as he let his eyes close. he let himself breathe in the comforting scent around him, and let sleep finally wash over him, with nana still a solid heat around him. 

renjun was always cold, but in jaemin's arms, he had a hard time describing himself as anything other than warm.

**Author's Note:**

> so i was rlly sad and i decided to project that on renjun because healthy coping mechanisms is for losers so listen i wrote this at 12 am while crying so pls be nice it's not proofread at all so if it's a mess i'm sorry


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